I drove down to see Reidksi last Friday. Down the M1 I went, enjoying the fact that there was not so much traffic as usual and no hold ups when "Oh shit!" A warning sign popped on. I had never seen such a sign before. It was a little icon showing a car with a spanner down the middle of it. my first reaction when ever a warning sign comes on in a car is to hope it goes away. Happily, having met Reidski and driving round London over the next 24 hours the warning sign did not come on again. Excellent. Except that as soon as I was back on the M1 headed home up it popped once again.
I decided it must be speed related. As Reidski and I are heading for Cornwall next week I knew I had to get this thing checked out. I rang my garage, described my warning sign, and the old guy who owns the local garage ummed and arrhhed,and directed me to a mate of his who is the proud owner of a diagnostic tool that was he explained the only thing that could accurately ascertain the source of my problem. (I didn't ask for further details on his tool, it hardly seemed polite.) Anyway, I find this guy in the middle of a forest (which made me even more anxious about this tool of his), but he produced his diagnostic tool and very high tec it was too. Like a little hand held computer with which he could diagnose the source of my engine trouble. He checked for this, he checked for that, he checked for the other but he didn't get any of that I can assure you, and then he asked me when I last put any oil in the car.
So it transpired that I was not in need of any high tec diagnostic tool, but I was in need of oil on account of there was not a drop to be found in my engine. I was like five minutes away from a £2,000 replacement engine job.
"Why" I demanded in my anxiety to divert attention away from the fact that I had been a very stupid cow "didn't the oil warning sign come on instead of that car and spanner one?" "Ahh" he replied "If the oil warning light comes on, it is too late - that would mean your engine is knackered."
Note to self - car engines need oil.
Guilty - How do I plead? I plead "Guilty" your honour. Though I did spend six weeks in Ireland in the summer of 1974, visiting amongst many other places the youth...
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