Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Genuine extracts

from a file I am working on written between 1960 and 1962:

"Mrs M (foster carer) is very depressed because she is trying to get her weight down, and after a month on a Swedish Milk diet, instead of a minimum weight loss of 7 lbs as they advertise, she has actually gained 12lbs and is now over 15 stone for the first time in her life."

"Mrs C had been spending a great deal of time at the hospital recently as Trevor (son aged 4) drank a bottle of turpentine last week."

"Gill M went for the money last Saturday and went back and told her mother that Sharon was doing the lodgers bedrooms, dressed only in panties and bra and a short dressing gown without any fastenings, Mrs M said sourly if that’s how she was earning her money she could afford to pay more for Mickey (foster child)."

"She started all over again to tell me what a greatly wronged woman she is, but just then two detectives arrived to see her so I left."

Hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

Technical hitch

I can't actually access my own blog from the computer I use most of the time anymore. I don't know if it was my reference to a vibrator wot dun it, but whilst I can post things to it(at least I think I can - will soon find out) I can't reply to comments, and browsing all your blogs is problematic too.


Anyway, just wanted to say that the matter which should have been resolved on 6th January still hasn't been settled due to a quite extraordinary mixture of snow, illness and incompetence. Enough to say by the time it is settled an enormous rant will be appearing from me on the subject.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Anyone interested in a second 'hand' rabbit at all?

Is this the strangest list of stolen items ever?

The charge sheet alleges that the accused, one Fabrizio Martino, having entered as a trespasser a dwelling, stole therein food, drink, eggs, a bag of crisps, bin bag full of assorted children's toys, Lego building blocks and plastic toys. Bob the Builder toy, soft toys. Linen basket containing unwashed clothes . . . light bulb, grey broom, keys to flat and shed, scales, curtain pole,with dark brown leaf pattern.

After describing in detail four sex toys allegedly stolen by Martino, believed to be worth in excess of £100, the list then goes on: "Yellow JCB digger, jigsaw piece*, yellow quad bike toy of value unknown."

* Just the one! How very annoying.

Monday, January 04, 2010

Just my bad luck

Been stuck here since New Year's Eve.

Sheer hell.

So wish I was back at work instead but what with being surrounded by 7 foot snow drifts what can one do but turn to (yet more) drink?

Happy Two Thousand and Ten (as I have decided it definitely is to be called).