Tuesday, July 24, 2007

In which I was inconvenienced.

I like to think of myself as quite a tolerant sort. 'Each to their own' could have been a saying especially designed for me, but maybe, just maybe, one needs to add the rider - 'So long as they don't inconvenience me.'

For I am ashamed to admit I have developed a little obsession that grew exponentially on the five occasions in two days I found myself stuck in traffic jams nose to tail with these anti-social, inconsiderate menaces to society. I refer of course, to Land Rover Enthusiasts.

Now, pre this weekend (PTW for short) I would have said that if 50,000 Land Rover Enthusiasts wanted to club together and look at Land Rovers, then OK - bit tragic - but c'est le vie. HOW SO EVER, when they chose to assemble for this, which is accessible only by a narrow country road down which it is necessary for me to travel for numerous reasons, and when there are so many attempting to get through the ONE gate into the place and therefore succeeding in bringing gridlock for at least five miles in every direction then I get - ever so slightly - WOUND UP!!!!.

So obsessive have I become due to the length of time spent in too close proximity with Land Rovers due to the traffic jams I kept getting stuck in, that I looked at the link in an attempt to better understand this strange alien subject - The Land Rover Enthusiast.

What kind of a person is excited by wandering around a vast camp site looking at Land Rover after Land Rover?

According to the show web site: Land Rover shows should be all about Land Rovers, so at Billing 2007 you’ll find an arena packed with Land Rovers of all shapes and sizes. Well for a start off, you don't need to pay good money to see all those - I saw them for free - stuck in the same sodding traffic jams as all of the bloody things.

Many Land Rover fans had their first off-road experience at Billing, but no matter how experienced you are the Billing course is always a pleasure and a thrill.
If you click the 'Off road' link there are pictures of Land Rovers driving into muddy water. This it transpires, is a major treat for Land Rover Enthusiasts - but I thought they all did that kind of thing all the time anyway because as every 4 wheel driver insists "But I live in the country - I NEED my gas guzzling carbon unfriendly 4 X 4." Surely it isn't really the case that most Land Rover owners live in - whisper it - the town???

But then i saw this, and ha ha, they are complaining the event was hit by the weather and two Land Rovers were damaged. I quote from a contributor called Big Drinks as I could not put it any better -

Jul 23 2006, 07:32 AM
So, Land Rovers are great, but dont take them out if it gets a bit wet & windy!

I'll leave the last words on the subject though to Reidski who heard more than enough complaints from me this weekend about Land Rover Enthusiasts for the hatred to rub off on him. He also saw the web site and sent the following to me....

“displays and demonstrations to appeal to Land Rover fans of all kinds.”
– you fucking what? Surely, Land Rover “fans” come just in one kind – sad fucking wankers!


JoeinVegas said...

But, isn't most of the UK filled with mud puddles? What's the thrill?
I particularly liked the line "took it all in great spirit". Yea, I've been to similar (not LR shows), everybody bitched and moaned and complained and wished they had stayed home.

Gill said...

once you've seen one landrover you've seen em all-surely?

Yorkshire Pudding said...

From the Land Rover sales website:-
"Defender is the world´s most versatile off-road vehicle, capable of traversing extremes of terrain and surviving the most hostile environments." When they wrote that I don't think they were thinking of rainy country lanes in Northamptonshire being glared at by a fuming Ms A. Cobblers!

timesnewroman said...

Oh I dunno I think your basic khaki 88" Wheel Base Landrover with non-synchromesh gearbox was the epitome of British engineeering and a thing of great beauty myself.

Queen Vixen said...

Hehehehe they do seem to inspire such a loyalty. Knew one guy who practically lived in his decrepid, ancient, falling apart collectors item - the car mirrored the man

rilly super said...

JJ darling, I entirely sympathise. In our village we have our own grand parade of off-road vehicles which takes place every weekday morning when everybody leaves to drive to their offices in Leeds or Newcastle.

David Duff said...

I have much the same feeling concerning football crowds.

Moo said...

Range/Land Rovers pee me off, most of the people that drive them are pompous knobs.

J.J said...

Joe, not so much full of puddles - more full of flood water. And so true about the bitching at these events.

Gill, one would have thought so but apparently bot???

YP - we Mature Bloggers are scary when we get annoyed you know.

Jim, I think you've forgotten to take your medication :-)

Hi Queen Vixen - welcome. I have a feeling I might have seen a guy matching your description. Erh, actually, I saw lots of guys matching your description!

Rilly, ah yes I can well imagine, designed as they are to tackle the urban jungle.

David - some of us are quite sweet really.

Moo - an accurate description girl!

Pixie said...

My mate's man is so obsessed with land rovers he made a third size model. Which whilst being built I was supposed to think was interesting and fab... Did i give a fuck.....
But if you were taking Mazda MX5.. well..

Anonymous said...

I wish I had a Land Rover that I could use exclusively in the city. That would show everyone what a rich, powerful man I am.

I would drive really close behind people in small cars and they would think "wow, he must have a big dick".