Tuesday, March 17, 2009

The actual day

I think I am sufficently over the trauma of turning 50 to mention it here now.

It started in an inauspicious manner whilst I was having a wee.

Now my arms are quite nice I think. They have never caused me any grief before anyway. I do some weight training so shape wise they are OK, and hair wise they are fair and I have never had to get the hairs removed because they are not noticeable.

Or at least - they were not noticeable before I turned 50.

So there I was perched on the loo contemplating my advanced number of years when on my left arm I see not one but two bloody great long dark hideous hairs! "That's it!" thinks I. "I turn 50 and instantly start sprouting unsightly bodily hair. It will be my nostrils next, then my chin." First job on the morning of my birthday therefore involved my tweezers. I swear they were the only long dark hairs I have EVER seen growing on my arm. I hope they will be the last. I assumed the day could only improve.

For a treat for myself I had booked a facial at the gym I go to. It is very rare that I have one of these, but of course they are blissfully relaxing as well as good for (maturing) skin and I was very much looking forward to this.It was booked for 12, and then at 1.30 I was due to meet a friend for lunch. I arrived on time, but it was a bit late starting. I guess the therapist finally got going by about quarter past 12. I am not trying to be cheeky when I tell you that I was only wearing my knickers and was being kept nice and cosy by some thick blankets. What I was wearing is a Need to Know detail.

About ten minutes passed and I was just drifting into a delightfully semi conscious state when we were rudely interupted by the bell. By the fire alarm bell to be precise.

At first I think we both assumed they were merely testing the bell, but as it wailed on and on my beauty therapist said "I'm sorry, but that isn't a test." Other members of staff started hammering on our door for us to evacuate the building. They wanted me to go out as I was - just wrapped in a blanket. I wasn't having that, but did end up throwing on some jeans and a tee shirt watched by three complete strangers all urging me to hurry up. I am at least grateful that the face mask had not at that stage been put on. I am also grateful I wasn't one of the poor sods who had been in the swimming pool. It was a sunny day but not one sunny enough to make one want to stand around outside wearing nothing but a wet costume, as some unfortunate people had to do. I was freezing. They must have been in real danger of catching hypothermia.

We all hung around for I don't know how long whilst the building was checked from top to bottom. By the time we were given the all clear there was no time for me to carry on with the facial and still see my friend, so the facial booked for my 50th birthday did not actually happen. It was rearranged, but nice as it was, it wasn't the same as having it on my birthday. And you might suppose that knowing the facial was to have been for my 'significant' birthday, they might have given me some compensation - but you would suppose wrong.

Lunch would have been nicer had my friend not just been made redundant from her job to which she has devoted the last 17 years of her life. She obviously made an effort for my sake, but was just as obviously struggling.

Reidski was working and the kids had wanted me home in the evening so I didn't see him that day. They were, in the event, obviously knackered by having been forced to make an effort the day before (Sunday) when we had lots of family round, and thus the two that were in spent the evening either asleep on the sofa, or browsing on Facebook. I ended up with no one to talk to and so went to bed at 9.30 with a book.

I am not really complaining. Events around the actual date were very special and will never be forgotten. I just think that there is some irony in the fact that the actual date - one I had been focussed on for what was in hindsight a rather obsessive degree (why else did I go to the gym nearly every day in the year leading up to it?) - was a complete and utter non event.

Life can indeed be all Cobblers.


Karen said...

I always tend to get overexcited so whatever happens, no matter how lovely, usually tends to be a little bit of a disappointment.

You don't half have some trouble though M, I can't imagine it happening to anyone else!

Word ver: autfaukk - what you shouted when the fire alarm started during facial.

J.J said...

It was something uncannily close to Autfaukk Karen!

jay said...

Haha! Yes, 'milestone' birthdays do tend to be a bit of a let-down, don't they?

I've had the fire-alarm-at-the-gym torture, too. Luckily for me I wasn't actually in the shower at the time, though some people clearly had been, and lucky for them it wasn't too bitterly cold.

I did have to endure the embarrassment of having to walk into the vet's waiting room in my gym kit though - they are opposite the gym and I was clearly not going to make the appointment I'd booked with them unless I borrowed their phone and got hubby to meet me there with the dog.

Happy 50th! Welcome to the post-fifty world of hideously sprouting black hairs. You'd be surprised where they'll turn up. *Snigger*

trousers said...

That's the trouble with milestone birthdays I suppose, it's easier when there's no sense of expectation. But how can you not have expectations on a birthday such as this?

There's a nice kind of poignancy about this post, but I haven't quite got the words to elaborate on that (not that I'm trying to say anything fancy or clever..)

Oh and the word ver = ambotion, I shan't try and come up with any kind of explanation as to what it means..(except, maybe, botched ambition, about the day itself?)

Lisa Rullsenberg said...

Awh, sorry I missed your birthday shug - but uncelebrating (or non-celebrating) isn't so bad an idea. Personally i would just go with having a nice time, with people you love, on a day to suit you - just for the hell of it.

And gym be damned: you looked pretty darn fine in the last pics I saw of you, let alone in the flesh (though I suspect Reidski sees more of that than I! Or at least I would hope he does!)


Fire Byrd said...

Think yourself lucky you didn't end up in a police cell like Al for his 18th last week!!! Comes of having a birthday on Friday 13th!

Or like my 44th birthday I went on a blind date and ran away from it half way through my orange jiuce he was so awful...
And it was my birthday what was I doing this to me for....

J.J said...

Jay - I am on now on full hideously sprouting black hair alert.

Trousers - word verification can be very astute at such times.

Lisa - oh yes, poor Reidski does have to put up with rather more than his fair share of my flesh ;-)

Oh Fire Byrd - what are we to do with these kids of ours? I saw your tale of Friday 13th. He won't be forgetting that one in a hurry will he? And as for your 44th - you did exactly the right thing girl!

Gill said...

after fifty your pubes migrate onto your chin- it's a well known fact

J.J said...

Thanks for that Gill ! :-(