Friday, January 09, 2009

What passes for an exciting evening in Northampton

Something very exciting nearly happened last night! I have still not quite recovered from just how exciting the thing that nearly happened was!!

Reidski came up to see me last night which was of course in itself exciting. I hadn't seen him since Saturday due to my cough (Can I just mention here that as far as I an concerned Alexander Fleming is the greatest man who ever lived. I feel SO much better thanks to his discovery of blue mould.)

By the way - how stupid are we? One thing we often do together is the Guardian crossword - quick version. Last night over a drink all was done bar one clue....'Chap animal?' 8. This had had us flummoxed. We were left with -e-e-o-f. Sudden inspiration hits me and I start to write in 'Shewolf' only to come unstuck immediately as letter the second is not an H - and never had been (never mind that shewolf is only 7 letters, and 'chap' rather suggests 'male'). But undeterred I declare "It is something WOLF!" At which point one of us - I hesitate to suggest it could have been Reidski, says something along the lines of "How do you spell Beowulf?" which led to numerous attempts to make 'Beoewolf' or 'Beuewolf'. All obviously totally and utterly wrong. And thus we gave up. How in the cold light of the next morning we failed to come up with 'Werewolf' I really wouldn't care to speculate upon for too long. I actually woke up in the middle of the night and yelled out 'Werewolf!' The children were confused.

I digress. back to the very exciting thing that nearly happened.

We went to Pizza Express. It was packed downstairs which might lead one to question the concept of the credit crunch, were it not for the fact that all of us punters had come armed with their latest two for one voucher. Therefore we went upstairs where a very long table was laid out, reserved, as our very lovely waitress told us, for the cast and crew of the local pantomime. She went to fetch our drinks giving my mind time to work (rather more quickly than it had performed earlier re werewolves)."Does this mean?" I asked her upon her return, trying to appear cool, calm and collected "that you are expecting Jimmy Osmond?" "Oh yes!" says she. "He will be here. In fact - he has been here practically EVERY NIGHT since the panto started!" (Yes - she did confirm he is indeed rather plump.)

Imagine how we felt!!!!!! At any moment as we ate our pizzas - Little Jimmy Osmond Himself could be coming in and sitting down in the Very Same Room As Us! Frankly, it was almost too much excitement to me - recuperating as I am from my cough. If I was a Victorian lady no doubt I would have swooned on the spot and Reidski would have had to pass me my smelling salts. A Real Life Osmond! In Northampton!

Regretfully we did not actually get to see Jimmy Osmond, having eaten up and found to our astonishment that we could not actually be arsed to linger over coffee in the hope that the great man would arrive.

It later transpired that Reidksi had actually SEEN HIM BEFORE! In Irvine. Strange. But also most unfair as he has seen him and I have not. But on reflection it was quite exciting enough knowing that I just MIGHT have seen him...had we arrived some half an hour later. Life is very random that way is it not?

Has my blogging really sunk so low that I am reduced to writing about something that did not happen? ;-)


John said...

If you're into 70s heartthrobs, we had that David Soul come up to Knutsford to campaign for Martin Bell. I think Bell was an extra in Starsky & Hutch or something. A white-suited pimp, I dunno.

Gill said...

Wow! Little Jimmy Osmond himself! I always confuse him with that woman off the Krankies ;-)

And you didn't see him! That's tidy!

Reidski said...

We should have waited and got his autograph!

And, by the way, which woman off the Krankies, Gill? There was the bloke and wee Jimmy Krankie. Who was the woman?

Jennyta said...

I think it's quite clever to write about something that didn't happen. Could start a new trend, you know! ;)

Fire Byrd said...

reminds of the time I nearly became a rocket scientist!!!
all I needed was to have done a'levels, gone to uni etc etc
Such is life have to make do with the life I have then!

Yorkshire Pudding said...

Things that did not happen seems to me like a fascinating zone for bloggers to explore... like last season when Hull City trounced Northampton Town in the FA Cup final. You must have been gutted!

Jay said...

Hahahahaha! Reduced to writing about something that didn't happen! But it might have, JJ! It might have!

And if it had been Johnny Depp, I would have practically drowned myself in coffee rather than miss him, plump or not ... although, actually, I can't imagine him plump. ;)

Anonymous said...

True. He's plump now. Being the same age, I like to remind myself of this if I feel a little weighty myself.... still not as fat as Jimmy Osmond...

Gill said...

Oh reidski you are right, no woman was involved in the Krankies of course, Wee Jimmy Krankie and Little Jimmy Osmond were one and the same person played by a ginger dwarf mormon. Fact ;-)

timesnewroman said...

Strange but true...that wee Jimmy Krankie lives opposite my work with her husband the big Krankie guy.

Jimmy Osmond in Irvine?? How bizarre. I know that Donny Osmond's son has been in Irvine cos he was one of those missionaries.

J.J said...

It all happens in Knutsford too John! My 70's heartthrob was Marc Bolan. And no - I am still not over his untimely demise.

Gill - I can actually see how such confusion could occur! (Another G&S fan? Lush!)

Reidski, you forget that you grew up worshipping the Krankies. Not everyone is so au fais with their respective genders!

Jenny - it could do wonders for my bloggers block!

Pixie - oh yes - that road not travelled. (One of my favourite poems that btw - Robert Frost.)

I can assure you YP that in that FA cup final that did not happen Northampton wiped the floor with The Tigers.

Jay - had Johnny been expected I would have still been there rather than have missed him!

Hello Innocent and welcome to another blogger who has grown up alongside Little Jimmy.

Gill - that is a true fact known only by the chosen few.

TNR - surely it can not be the case that Reidski confused Son Of Donny with LJO???? I suppose I could always check with him; he is after all sitting right next to me at the moment!

Gill said...

I have to be a g and s fan as most of my family are from South Wales (me included) and my husband spent his formative years in Billericay! And this is a really true fact, not like the one about the ginger dwarf mormon.