Friday, April 11, 2008

Great Family Day's Out

I have a few days off next week so what could possibly be nicer that taking my daughter and two of her friends to a theme park for the day?

I have such clear memories of my last but one trip to a theme park. Let’s call it Alton Towers for that is its name.

I don’t know which part I enjoyed least.

Was it

a) The happy hours spent in queues for rides manned by semi – house trained bullies. b) The joy for a non smoker of inhaling other people’s poisonous fumes, whilst in those endless queues.
c) The litter that was everywhere.
d) The rip off prices.
e) The filthy toilets.
f) The total lack of shelter when it rained.
g) The amusing way the rides tended to break down after one had been in a queue for the sodding thing for absolutely ages, and the total lack of apologies when this occurred – twice to us on that particular day.


h) The fact that they had the nerve to ask me to fill in a customer satisfaction survey on my way out.

Now Reidski would confirm that when really pissed off I do have a tendency to make my feelings known. In this instance Alton Towers were treated to what was eventually a four page letter of vitriolic complaints, ending with the assurance that I would NEVER return to experience the thrills of Alton Towers again.

They replied with a set of complementary tickets for the whole family, and as the kids found them before I had managed to burn them….yes, I had to go again.

So next week – can’t wait. I take the kids to Thorpe Park in this instance, which I am sure is every bit as wonderful as Alton Towers: by which I mean, it is probably hell on earth.

And then I sod off to Windsor Castle with my mum, and pick the kids up again later.


Lisa Rullsenberg said...


Moral of story: never let your kids be the first to see or open post...

The Fatalist said...

Ah Windsor Castle. Much as I HATE the royal family, & having to pay to see what my taxes pay for, I do like a bit of history.
I was at Windsor Castle the day England won the rugby yawnion world cup. (I'm a rugby league man myself. Union bores me to tears) Anyway, that was a mid morning kick off, & Dulwich Hamlet were playing at Stag Meadow that afternoon, home of Windsor & Eton. So three of us went to the castle to avoid the game. The papers were full of it, saying the queen herself had watched the match on telly at Windor Castle. Bullshit! The royal standard was raised (which shows she is in residence) only ten minutes before the time of the final whistle. I know, because I saw it going up the flagpole!
When we were wandering around the chapel, where all the dead ones are buried, the recent Queen Mother plot was there. There were some gullible American tourists around us (as if I need to use the word 'gullible' when it comes to 'american' & 'tourist' in the same sentence!) & I grabbed my mate Rose West (Not THAT one, but she's the spitting image, hence her nickname!) & pretended to cry, going into full over the top Cockney "Gawd bless 'er; she was a lovely lady; one of us!" Bloody hilarious, I don't know how I kept a straight face, but she played along to mug the yanks up, & olny called me a cunt when we got outside!

Never been into amusement parks, they scare the shit out of me, you won't get me on them! Anyone remember days out at Margate, when you were a kid? Places like Dremaland were my adventure parks in the seventies. It closed a few years ago, & only the big dipper was left, a wooden structure almost a hundred years old. Sadly arsonists torched it only a week or two ago, I read in the paper somewhere. Another bit of my childhood gone...

timesnewroman said...


Karen said...

i hate theme parks too. waste of space if you ask me.

is the clock tower still broken in margate?

Pixie said...

and we all know what lousy employers they are too!! youngest has given up earning money rather than go back.

J.J said...

Lisa - I have learnt from that one.

Fatalist - so funny, and I have to tell you I thought of you when I got to the QM plot - and laughed.

TNR - not at the time it wasn't!!!

Karen, horrible places aren't they?

Pixie, Respect to your son.