Thursday, February 01, 2007

This explains a lot

At an impressionable age I remember being told that the first words one should utter on the 1st of any month are "White rabbits, white rabbits, white rabbits." This is apparently guaranteed to bring one luck for the rest of the month.

I resolved at that time to put this to the test, and thirty odd years later I still fully intend to put this to the test one of these fine months.

I always mean to give it a go. I have nothing to lose but my sanity. It often comes into my mind as I drift off to sleep on the last day of the month that in the morning I will utter the magical words "White rabbits, white rabbits, white rabbits" and therefore maximise my chances of watching us win a game of football for a change, or some other such great stroke of good fortune.

So what are my first words of the month? Last month, fairly obviously it would have been "Happy New Year" - rapidly followed by "Sod it! I meant to say 'white rabbits' three times."

Should the first of a month fall on a school day there is a pretty high chance my first words will be a panic striken cry of "GET UP!!!" directed at all three children.

If it occurs on a weekend the chances are that my first words of the month will be "Will you turn that bloody row down - some of us are trying to sleep!" having been woken up in the middle of the night.

If I should happen to be with Reidski when I wake up on the first of any month I would be wary of starting the day by saying the words "White rabbits, white rabbits, white rabbits" for fear it might put him off what usually seems to come to his mind first thing on any given morning (although it could be argued there is a rabbit like connection there if one looked for it).

As I am absolutely terrible at getting up, many first days of the months will start with me declaring "God, I'm knackered."

What I realise though on looking back is that whatever the first words are that I utter on the first day of any month they have never ever been "White rabbits, white rabbits, white rabbits" so maybe that is why I have not exactly led a charmed life. However, I console myself with the thought that as long as I live I will have other chances to put this guarantee for good luck to the test. It won't be this month though.

I always set the alarm on my mobile phone and I leave the phone on the floor next to my bed. When it went off this morning I knocked it under my bed. There is a gap between my bed of only an inch or two - enough for a mobile phone to slip under, but tricky for my hand to slip under and retrieve the phone which was getting louder and louder with every repeat of its horribly shrill alarm. My first words this month were therefore a very long stream of expletives. I feel that those particular words are unlikely to invoke the Good Luck Fairy to do her stuff for me.

There's always March.


Reidski said...

"I feel that those particular words are unlikely to invoke the Good Luck Fairy to do her stuff for me."

Now that's what I call funny!!!

Reidski said...

But back to that "white rabbit" stuff.

We had a thing when we were kids that when you said the same thing as someone else at the same time you pinched them and punched them on the arm (really hard in my case) and said: "white rabbit no return" - what was that all about?

JoeinVegas said...

Maybe if you at least put it as the first words in your blog post it might be enough. well, always next month to try it out in.

Stegbeetle said...

My first words on the morning of the first of the month tend be something barely comprehensible on the subject of "coffee" and "fag". Much like any other day, really.

J.J said...

Reidski - this is my own favourite White Rabbit -

One pill makes you larger
And one pill makes you small
And the ones that mother gives you
Don't do anything at all
Go ask alice
When she's ten feet tall

And if you go chasing rabbits
And you know you're going to fall
Tell'em a hookah smoking caterpillar
Has given you the call
Call alice
When she was just as small

When the men on the chessboard
Get up and tell you where to go
And you've just had some kind of mushroom
And your mind is moving low
Go ask alice
I think she'll know

When logic and proportion
Have fallen softly dead
And the white knight is talking backwards
And the red queen's "off with her head!"
Remember what the dormouse said
Feed your head, feed your head!

And Joe - that is not at all a bad idea..if only I am able to remember to do so.....

J.J said...

Stegbeetle - strictly tea for me first thing any morning.

Yorkshire Pudding said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Yorkshire Pudding said...

I'm intrigued about the first thing on Reidski's mind when he wakes up. Would it be Millwall or Celtic? And the rabbit connection? In his dreams do the players all run around with little scud bunny girl tails? Or more likely the first thing he needs is the loo - if like most Scotsmen he has drunk a yard of ale the night before!

J.J said...

It is very stimulating indeed for me YP waking up with one of the great minds of our time. For example, he may awaken with the need to discuss with me 'What, Jane, is the nature of reality?' or 'Jane -are there any absolute truths?' This is all very well, and all very interesting.

The only problem being that personally I would much prefer a quick shag ;-)

Yorkshire Pudding said...

Oh you Northamptonshire lasses are so earthy! It is a nice way to start the day. Makes you feel like you're really living.

McManus said...

My first word every morning is, "Shit."

Gill said...

Ah well- "oh shit" were my famous last words. Or would have been if I hadn't escaped death on the A66. Oh and it might help if I was famous!

timesnewroman said...

That's my favourite White Rabbit too JJ

J.J said...

YP - earthy or just down right dirty?!

McManus - you live! And I rejoice at the news!

Gill, I have thought that before - there must be many people whose last words were swear words in various languages as they realise they are totally fucked - and not in a good way.

Jim, it is a classic but my kids are sick to death of it as I have been playing it incessently since I printed the lyrics the other day.