Wednesday, February 28, 2007

There's no accounting for it.

I am watching this at the moment all about John Prescott's sex life. Luckily I am blessed with a strong constitution. Right now he's making her a shepherd's pie round at his flat. How sweet. Oh, and Gordon and Tony have just turned up too. Cosy. I liked her diary entry that went 'I'm like Monica Lewinsky - only thinner.'

How ministers manage to do any of that boring 'running the country' lark when they are so busy shagging has long been a mystery. Mind you it always seems to be the most unlikely ones who can't leave the secretary alone.

I never recovered from the shock of hearing there was a woman breathing who could actually bear to shag David Mellor - and even worse - *shudders with horror* suck his toes.

But there is nothing new under the sun - or under the Woolsack.

- Although Britain’s first Prime Minister, Sir Robert Walpole, was married, it’s thought it was just a front for his affairs.

- The first PM to actually flaunt his mistress in front of the reigning monarch, though, was the Duke of Grafton in the 1760s.

- Despite being a national hero after his defeat of Napoleon, the Duke of Wellington’s private life was not so spotless. He was famously promiscuous. "Publish and be damned" was what he said when a blackmailer threatened to print a former mistress’s memoirs.

- Even in an age of supposed prudery, Queen Victoria’s first PM, Lord Melbourne, was cited in two divorce cases and is believed to have enjoyed whipping other people. Another PM, Viscount Palmerston, was cited in a divorce case at the age of 79, and had once attempted to rape one of the Queen’s ladies-in-waiting.

You see - three years studying history was not in vain.

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As I was thinking about the many sex scandals that have engulfed various M.P's I remembered Dennis Skinner being dubbed the Beast of Legover. I looked for a reference to that in Wikipedia but they could not oblige. I will forgive them though for reproducing this quote of his:


"I thought you were taking Marquand with you."

- Heckling Roy Jenkins in 1976 when, during his farewell speech to the Parliamentary Labour Party before leaving to become President of the European Commission, he said: "I leave this party without rancour." David Marquand was then the MP for Ashfield and a close ally of Jenkins, who famously pronounced his Rs like Ws

5 comments:

Reidski said...

The quote from Dennis Skinner - pure class!
And impressed with your historical knowledge!

Steve said...

S'funny but I bought a bunch - sorry, bouquet, of flowers for my Mam and dad's 54th Wedding Anniversary off John Henshaw's brother today. (Henshaw played Prescott tonight). A lovely man John Henshaw (and his brother actually). He used to perform in the local folk clubs when he was still a binman. He didn't become an actor until he was 40. Is that bottle or what?

As for Marquand, when I did my degree he was my tutor for a year and also my lecturer on a module called something like "Wither Social Democracy." A condescending bouffant of a man who should have (may have as far as I know) carried on writing portentious political biographies and stayed out of the public eye - ooops he has hasn't he?. His biography of Ramsay MacDonald was a meisterwork however - even though he did offer a profoundly conservative (small c) appraisal of the eventual crash and burn.

As the years have flashed by at the speed of light, with the nights too dark and the days too bright, I frequently wonder what the point of Historical Analysis is. Because we never learn. We never learn.

And yet it is SO important for, as Mr Orwell once observed: "he who controls the past controls the present. And he who controls the present controls the future.

Still the future's bright. Global warming will see to that.

Gill said...

yeuch- I couldn't bear to watch and to see and imagine the horror. But it gives hope to us all really doesn't it. No one-absolutely no one- is too horrid to shag!

Arthur Clewley said...

JJ, I can see that your visits to my own heavyweight intellectual blog have rubbed off on you, and you though, oh f**k I don't want to end up like him, I'd better raise this up a bit. Did you really learn all that in school or did you actually see it on the news when it happened?- be honest now. I missed the Prescott show on TV so all I know about it is ths arse stunt double story. I don't know what attracts you women to these men though JJ, I think that's something we need to hear from you next. Any advice welcome on that score.

J.J said...

Reidski- it is so funny!

Steve, several coincidences in one post!I thought Henshaw was great - please tell his brother.
And I am with Orwell on history. can't help thinking it would be 'quite good' if we DID learn.

Gill - except Andrew Lloyd Webber surely?

Arthur, I am VERY sorry to say that I think what attracts 'some' women to these men is fancy meals and expensive gifts. Let's face it - it can to be their sex appeal.Sex appal more like it.