All I wanted to do was purchase a few basic items and what do I get for my troubles? A public ticking off.
"Unexpected item on the conveyor belt!" cries the creepy little voice. "Swipe the bar code on your item" it demands. "UNEXPECTED ITEM ON THE CONVEYOR BELT" It shouts -louder this time.
I am getting flustered. In vain I try and swipe my packet of frozen peas. "Key in the item code you moron!" yells the nasty impatient voice.
"UNEXPECTED ITEM ON THE CONVEYOR BELT AGAIN!" it bellows at the top of its voice. An army of armed security guards have by now gathered at the end of my conveyor belt, loaded as it apparently is with unexpected items - "She bought Tesco's own tomato ketchup and I expected Heinz"??
"Have you swiped your Clubcard?" it demands repeatedly as I try and fail to successfully swipe my Clubcard. I think there was one little old lady so hard of hearing in the store that she didn't know I was the idiot who couldn't even swipe my Clubcard unaided, but she was the only one in the shop who didn't know by the time the bloody thing shut up about how I was swiping my Clubcard All Wrong.
"Thank you for shopping at Tesco's. Have a nice day!" it says in a vain attempt to restore good customer relations. It spoils that somewhat by shouting after me "TAKE YOUR GOD DAMN RECEIPT!"
Never again will I choose the self service check out. I'd rather be told off by someone I can have a go back at.
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