Monday, March 24, 2008

I have been

at a bit of a loss as to what to write about this past week. I usually enjoy writing about the ridiculous, but in a week when we learnt that Heather Mills requires £39,000 a year for wine when she doesn't even drink, I feel that the art of describing the ridiculous has been somewhat surpassed.

There was of course our very own Rob Styles incident last Friday night. Football fans amongst you will know that this referee excelled himself in this match involving amongst very many strange incidents a bizarre penalty he awarded for Chelsea against Liverpool. The more devoted football fans may also know about his controversial refereeing of this match a fortnight ago between Watford and Stoke City. You probably won't however have heard that he doesn't just confine his inept refereeing performances to the higher leagues. In our match against Nottingham Forest he sent one of their players off after 20 minutes with scarcely any justification whatsoever. He did however atone for his error towards Forest by awarding a penalty against our goal keeper for the sin of getting the ball and having Nathan Tyson fall over him. Not even the Forest fans thought it was a penalty, but Mr Styles has his own version of footballing regulations. Fortunately for you all though, as Reidski hates people who have a go at referees, I do not intend to mention this at all. No, not at all.

I can however report that Reidski and I went to this exhibition to see some of the First Emperor's Terracotta Army.

Lots to be amazed about. Not least was that aged 13 in 246 BC this kid became King and promptly declared himself First Divine Emperor or the Qin, China, The World, The Universe and got grown men to go out and risk their lives for him conquering the rest of China, The World, and The Universe without at any point any one saying "Get lost squirt - and have you finished your homework yet?"

I knew of course about the army of soldiers, but I didn't know about the administrators, the musicians, the acrobats, the birds and animals, and everything else the Emperor would need to ensure he conquered the after life as effectively as he conquered every place on this earth. (I didn't see any women though. Maybe sex was considered an unnecessary distraction to manly pursuits?)

What is really rather mind blowing is the fact that they have opened 600 pits thus far but are unlikely to open the Emperor's actual tomb for many many more years. It is rumoured to contain rivers of mercury replicating the rivers of China (indeed, readings taken of the soil there show extremely high readings of mercury), and pearls in the sky to replicate the stars in the universe. They hope to maybe one day have the technology to see inside the tomb without actually disturbing it. Whatever happens there, it won't be in any of our life times.

And on that cheery thought - Laters!!!


Karen said...

I am wondering if he was reffing when Carlisle played Gillingham at home. "Oh look there is a Gillingham player on the ground, it must be the fault of a Carlisle player. Free kick Gillingham". There were many shouts of "YOU DON't KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING!!!"

Reidski said...

Yes, all the fault of the refs, innit? As I said to one fucking idiotic "fellow" Celtic fan a few months ago when we were getting humped by the huns: "Well, the ref may be a dirty Orange bastard, as you say he is, but it wasn't him that made our defence so shit that they let in three goals." Or words to that effect, as I'm sure you know JJ!

Btw, on that no-woman-figures thing in the exhibition .... maybe he done an Endless Art thing. You know, done the first lot and then someone pointed out to the wee boy that there were no woman there, so in later tombs ....

Do you have any idea what I'm on about?

JoeinVegas said...

Is there any 'higher ref authority' to lodge complaints with? Or does everyone just take it as mad picked on team supporters who don't know what fair is?

J.J said...

Karen - it was very probably him.

Reidski - as you know, I never discuss a referee's performance as we are all human beings and no one is perfect.

And good point re the Endless Art link. Or maybe he just assumed the after life will be packed solid with nubile virgins so he didn't need to make provison before hand?

Joe - they only take any notice of complaints when they are made by the 'Big' sides. Nothing is ever done about mistakes made at our expense. Do I sound a little bitter here????

Pixie said...

oh yes poor Heather and as for little Bea only getting £37,000 a year, what is a tot to do.....
Fuck me, what a waste of space, almost enough to make me turn to the sports pages!!!

The Fatalist said...

A mate of mine has actually been to China & seen the actual Terracotta Army there. The photos are amazing. Yet another place on the list of places I want to go to, but never will!

I haven't even had the spare money to see a few of them at the British Museum!