Monday, March 01, 2010

You what?

Reidski has an on going problem with MY hearing. My hearing isn't as sharp as what it used to be, and that added to the occasional complication of a Scottish accent can lead to me being rather irritating, what with my inability at times to hear what on earth he is saying.

Anyway, on Saturday morning I happened to say to him that my ear felt (not for the first time recently once I had thought about it) like it needed popping. He instructed me in the art of blowing down my nose to pop my ear - but that made not a scrap of difference. I forgot about my ear and we went out for the day. In fact we went to Paradise, by way of a location in West London, but that's getting away from the Tale of J'J's ear, which I am sure has you all riveted to your seats. (Whaddya mean 'No!'??)

The following morning and the two of us are having breakfast. I happened to touch my ear and felt something actually inside my ear. I thought one of my earrings must have come out and jammed in my ear so I fiddled around with the item in my ear before producing - not the biggest lump of ear wax ever seen as Reidski not unnaturally assumed he was looking at when I first brandished the item in his face but - an olive stone.

Now if anyone has any suggestions whatsoever as to how on earth I did at some point in my life manage to get an olive stone in my ear I would be delighted to hear it. Not that I could have heard it whilst the olive stone was lodged in my ear of course.

And how long has it bloody well been there?????

Totally and utterly inexplicable.

No wonder I have been having trouble with my hearing.


Lisa Rullsenberg said...

WHAAAAT!????? Good grief, how often have you been eating olives in bed with Reidski?

Glad you have the stone out and hope the hearing improves!

Yorkshire Pudding said...

I am sure that there are other olive stones in there. Pour in a good swig of olive oil and the little buggers will come sliding out. It was that student party you want to on Chanterlands Avenue in Hull - remember - when you got totally paralysed on Cherry B. David and Steven thought it would be a jolly wheeze to see how many olive stones they could insert.

Jennyta said...

Unbelievable! You should contact the BMA and get someone to write a paper on you. You could be making medical history here, you know. ;)

Jennyta said...

PS. I remember Chanterlands Avenue, YP! Distantly...

trousers said...

How bizarre!

It reminds me in a way of when I spent a couple of days in London, years and years ago when I was a student. I remember wondering if I had sinus trouble or whether I'd bashed my nose when I was drunk, since my nose was painful and uncomfortable.

Then at some point, I sneezed a disconcertingly large chunk of tomato out of my nostril, and all felt better.

It begged similar kind of questions to your own almost-Fortean phenomena, ones which I've never fully answered.

naldo said...

Is it okay to have laughed out loud when i read this?

Trousers, i once snorted a line of squashed tomatoes whilst drunk and suspect that you may have done so too and are either being economical with the truth or were so wasted that you plain forgot about it.

naldo said...

Oh - JJ, did the olive stone look like Mother Teresa, Jesus or Elvis? If so, you should flog it.

trousers said...

Naldo - if only the tomato chunk had been squashed... to add a little more information, I believe we had grilled tomatoes as part of the hotel breakfast (whether that day or the previous one, I can't remember. This was 1988..).But I'm sure that I was hungover, rather than still wasted, at the breakfast table :)

J.J said...

Lisa - Reisdki is very strict on the no eating olives in bed rule!

YP - obviously I have NO memory of any such party - and any photos to the contrary are fake I tell you..FAKE!

Jenny - I do think there must be a fairly limited number of people who had an olive stone in their ear.

Trousers you made me laugh out loud!

And Naldo - in view of my comment above - yes perfectly OK! And a certain resemblance to the sainted Cheryl Cole I think!

Gill said...

well it's simple isn't it- long ago you swallowed a whole olive (i'm sure your mother warned you about this) then an olive tree grew inside you and one of the olives ripened in your ear, it burst when you popped your ear - and voila! an olive stone. Reminds me of captain corelli's mandolin only without nicolas cage

John said...

It could have been slowly working itself out like shrapnel from a wound.

Did you ever have a caesarean in Italy?

J.J said...

Oh Gill - Of course! Why didn't I think of that myself?

John - I can't even remember having given birth naturally in Italy but one can never swear to these things.