Exhausted.

"Promoted again! So soon after the last time! Gosh! That is a big salary you have got there! Tremendous!"

"So, no only did your son take so naturally to playing the guitar, but he has also turned out to be an incredibly talented song writer and his group easily won Battle of the Bands, plus all the girls are fighting to go out with him! Excellent!"

"Oh, so that son of yours is incredibly motivated at school and revising really hard for his GSCE's..French verbs stuck all over the kitchen!!! Marvellous."

"Well, fancy that! Your daughter aged 11 has only been playing badminton for ten months and is already playing for the county! Super!"

"Oh I see! Their school will only take them on the very most educational trips and yes, I can quite see that they would be missing out if you did not pay for both your children to do the China trip. Brilliant!"

"Blimey! The value of your house has risen AGAIN! Oh, and so have the three flats you bought to rent in London! Wonderful!"

"Cuba this summer! All inclusive package! Yes, the hotel does look fabulous! Wow!"

"Well, I am not quite sure." (When asked if I thought my incredibly smug friends I have spent too much of the past weekend with should go for a BMW this time or an Audi it being all of twelve months since they last changed their car).


I am completely drained and have run out of words to adequately express how impressed I am by their remarkably charmed life.



My one consolation in listening to this interminable success story is that Mrs Smug has a very fat arse.