Tuesday, June 01, 2010

Hello Steve!

Well in answer to your question I am right here - but have been suffering from a severe case of Bloggers Block. NOT that that is any excuse for not writing anything here so in no particular order here's a little round up of recent events.

1. Can not fucking believe it. This time last year I was immersed in a profound and prolonged sulk that the Cobblers were now in the same division as Dagenham and Bloody Redbridge. Well now we're not. Owing to the fact that Dagenham and Bloody Redbridge have gone up and we haven't. How rubbish (how cobblers) is that?

2. Also could not fucking believe it when lightning - that is not supposed to strike twice - struck twice. I related some time ago, whether it was here or in the other place I can't quite be bothered to check that out, that I had my car broken into and my make up got stolen. That resulted in the embarrassment of having to relate to my insurers just how much I spend on the old slap. Ever since then I have meticulously hidden everything out of sight in my car when I leave it. Much good did it do me. A couple of weeks ago Reidski and I had a drink in town and left the car for less than an hour, to return to find a smashed window, a ransacked inside of a car, and a missing make up bag. I have a lead to my radio that allows me to play my i-pod in the car. The other end of the lead had slipped down by the side of a seat and I think that what ever low life did this, thought (do they actually think these people?) there was an i-pod on the end of the lead. There was not. All they took was my make up bag so I have had to suffer the increased embarrassment of making a further claim from my insurers. That experience was not enhanced by hearing the tone of utter disbelief in the voice of the woman I spoke to when I gave her a rough estimate of the replacement value of the stuff I had lost. She clearly thought I was trying to pull a fast one. Bobbi Brown does not come cheap you know!

I've lost a stone since Christmas people - mainly through exercising. Feel much better for it and no longer have to breathe in to get my jeans on, but the reason I am mentioning it here is that apart from Reidski and a woman I see at the gym absolutely NO ONE has noticed!!! What I need to know though is - does this mean I am condemned to a minimum of four hours on the spinning bike every week for the rest of my life because that is how I've lost the weight, and I don't want it going back on again. Four bloody hours every week!!!??? What a prospect to look forward to.

As for politics....what on earth can one say?

Sadly David Laws life's goal to put people on the dole has been thwarted. Luckily there are no shortage of inexperienced MP's to give that role to and welcome to this weeks Chief Secretary to the Treasury Danny Alexander. Five years ago our Dan was Press Secretary for the Cairngorn Mountain Park. Today he is Chief Job Slasher. He joins Gideon, our Chancellor of the Exchequer who as this article points out also has no economic experience whatsoever. "This is as opportune a moment as any to run through George Osborne's economic experience in full: he doesn't have any. And to enumerate the number of jobs he's had in business/the City/finance: none. And his relevant educational qualifications? Zero."

But that's all OK anyway because all Danny and Gideon have to understand is 'Private Sector = Good, Public Sector = Bad.' Personally I am simply delighted to have the opportunity of (at best) a wage freeze for the next two years as my part towards sorting out the mess made by - umm - the banks (part of the private sector as I seem to recall).

Oh and can I just say in passing that Liberal Democrats are a bunch of power grabbing unscrupulous bastards?

Thank you for that opportunity.

Funny that I seem to recall someone (Nick Clegg now I come to think about it) saying that a vote for Labour risked putting the Tories in. I'd be laughing like a drain if I was one of the idiots who actually fell for that one. Anyway - that comment was no doubt was SO last month.

And I'll just end by telling you this - as no way will HE tell you himself.

Reidski and I are seeing Lady GaGa on Friday!

OK - the ticket wasn't for him in the first place but it came available and he's just overjoyed about that as you may imagine. Still - a weekend in Sheffield beckons for us and we will have fun, fun, fun.

I won't leave this so long next time.

Over and out for now.


Moo said...

Reidski at a Lady GaGa gig...hilarious!!! Cant believe your make up bag got stolen again, there must be someone in desperate need of some Bobby Brown!

naldo said...

Welcome back. Missed your chat. I must find time to flush out my own blogger's blockage.

Slap thieves = sad desperadoes.
Lib Dems = lying bampots.
Lady Gaga fans? Hmmmm....late one drunken night i flicked onto highlights of LGG at Glasto. Me and the lemon curd loved it. Bit weird.

Lisa Rullsenberg said...

Phew glad it isn't just me who's having a rubbish time blogging!

Sorry about the break-in; you've nailed the Tories and LDs good and proper; and when I've stopped rolling on the floor laughing about Reidski at Lady GaGa I'll be in touch.

NOTE: it could take some time ;)

Yorkshire Pudding said...

You came back fighting! What a delight it was to see Toryboy Laws slinking away in shame but still not having the decency to say "Sorry! And please don't arrest me!" I am equally concerned about the ability of Ozzy Osborne and Princess Alexandra to wisely govern our nations finances in challenging times.
Sorry to hear about the make-up thieves. Why not consider wearing a mask instead? This would thrill Mr Reidski. One week you'd be Anne Widdecombe and the next week Lady GaGa. Spice of life and all that.

Gill said...

it's those transvestite thieves again!

J.J said...

Moo - maybe its the same thief who knows I only have quality slap!

Naldo - I also thought Lady GaGa was great at Glastonbury. Have to say she was fucking marvellous on Friday night.

Lisa - I really must provide further info re this particular evening out :-)

YP - however did you know that Reidski has a special 'thing' for Anne Widdecombe?
Loved our weekend in your great city btw.

Gill - I hope your Lady Boy has a cast iron alibi????