Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Shape of things to come?

Question from my 13 year old niece.

“How do they know who won the election? Is it like on X Factor?”

Let’s see now.

"Nick Griffin.....Crawl back under that stone where you came from."

“Nick Clegg...... It’s not you.” (Cue for Nick to wipe away the tears and tell us what an amazing journey it's been.)

“Gordon Brown...... It could be you.”

“Posh Boy...... God help us but it could be you.”

“All will be revealed after this commercial break.....”

Now that we have an election campaign entirely based upon how well the party leaders do in the televised debates it's probably only a matter of time before the results will be announced that way.

Update 30th April 2010: Seems I am not alone on this one.


Malc said...

Or maybe we should vote for the one with the nicest wife.
The only election leaflet of the four we've received that has made any adult attempt to explain the party's policies is from the SNP. Not that it matters which way I vote as I live in a rock-solid Lib-Dem seat.

naldo said...

Lovin that idea, JJ. Get Ant and Dec to pull cheeky faces as the party heid bummer dullards line up to hear how the viewers voted. (Calls from mobiles may be considerably more expensive.)

A rock solid Lib Dem seat? What a strange concept that is, Malc. Where do you live?

I've been away from home a lot lately and am making every effor to ignore this election cos every time i read, see or hear about it, i come over all depressed. It's all piffle and nae politics.

At least Thatcher stood for something and i knew why i hated her. This lot are bland: Clegg's as posh as Dave the cnut, Brown's a class traitor, UKIP are low fat BNP for the nouveau riche and erm....i'm a snooby wee Scot who'll be glad when the union's nripped up fir bogroll and we get some oomph back into politics.

First Past the Post can kiss my bumcheeks. All 3 of them.

Yorkshire Pudding said...

This Thursday they should each be required to sing and do a little dance number. For Cameron I suggest "If I Ruled The World" in his boy soprano voice, Clegg would deliver "I'm a Little Teapot" and of course Mr Brown would sing "Gordon Brown...Never a Frown" ( a variation on The Stranglers' "Golden Brown") This would be far more entertaining for the watching public than the stultifying debates we have seen so far.

Steve said...

White smoke, white smoke.....I want white smoke......yay!

Gill said...

JJ -Genius. That is just how it should be done. It would liven it up nicely.

J.J said...

The stuff about the wives has been nauseating hasn't it Malc? I've had nothing from Labour btw - and Labour held the seat until 2005.

Naldo - the scene would not be complete without Ant and Dec. Eat your heart out Peter Snow.

YP - 'Never a Frown' made me laugh out loud - thank you!

Steve - and if it was caused by Cameron going up in the stuff - so much the better.

Gill - it's the future I tell ye!

Gill said...

well, how DO they know who won the election???