I would blog more regularly

if I wasn’t so knackered half the time.

I don’t suffer with insomnia it is just that sometimes the entire universe conspires against me and I do not get a good night’s sleep.

Last Friday night to pick an evening entirely at random, I had been out till about midnight and as soon as I got in I went up to bed and was pretty rapidly asleep – for about an hour. I was awoken by one of my cats leaping on top of me and then bounding off the other side of the bed at top speed. “Fuck’s sake” says I. The cat continues to annoy by being very noisy and active. “You are going out right now!” says I in grumpy manner directed at cat. I put the light on and am mildly surprised to see a young fledgling of some description (think it was a baby grouse but not sure) sitting in the middle of the rug, looking amazingly alive and in one piece. So part one of the middle of the night operation involved removing the cat from the scene and part two involved capturing the bird (mercifully easily) and taking it outside where I attempted to find a safe place to deposit it back into the wild.

Then back to bed and sleep…though not for long. The phone rings. It is 2.30 according to my clock. It is middle son slurring a message along the lines of “Not coming home tonight mum. Couldn’t remember if I had told you.” “You had. Thank you and good night.”

I get all of an hour and a half’s undisturbed slumber until 4 when someone (who turned out to be eldest son who went out and forgot his key) is hammering at the back door.

I was asleep again within minutes and drifted into what was developing into a really very interesting (and erotic) dream involving another blogger (no prizes for guessing which one) only to be awoken YET AGAIN just as the dream reached a critical moment by the sodding smoke alarm, the battery having picked that of all nights to malfunction. I have very high ceilings which was how I came to find myself at the top of a set of step ladders at 4.45 on Saturday morning.

In the light of the following it was maybe not so surprising that when my middle son rang and woke me up at 8.00 to ask if I would come and pick him up he got very short shift in response.